After much begging about completing the backlog of school work, one Saturday morning, I was joyously hoping for making my mom take me for some shopping. The school annual day was to be held in a couple of weeks and I badly needed some accessories to match with the beautiful blue dress, dad had recently got for me from his trip to Bombay. After hurriedly completing barely half of the backlog, I tried all possible tantrums before mom to take me to the market. Though the market was pretty close to our mediocre townhouse, mom never let me go alone to buy anything ever. Like every other mom, she never had any trust in my choice, or that was her way of keeping me off from wearing what I wanted. Typically she would have asked me to shut up and finish my homework, but she herself needed a round to the market to return something she had bought last week.
Being the kind of person she is, mom, always made things clear before taking me out. The list of do’s and don’ts were always discussed and agreed upon before setting the foot out from home, which happens even now! So, she asked about the things I wanted, I had already practiced this conversation, knowing her only too well, at least I thought so. I went in a very poetic way, rhyming out the names of things along with an explanation of why I wanted it. She sat there in her crisp cotton sari, making her folds fall in the right order, without looking at me. As if anybody cares for the falls, I thought, almost aloud, she finally finished her sari and looked at me and said go and get a piece of paper and a pen. I thought, now she wants me to give it in writing, what a pain of having a mother who is only so perfect. But if I wanted her to buy the things I wanted, I had no other way but to keep her in good humor. I rushed and got a notepad and pen. Now she took it from my hand and made a quick list. Giving it back to me she said, this is what we are getting. The list had three items in it, a pair of shoes, a pair of matching socks, and a flower clip. Before I could start complaining, her determined voice said “Do you want this or not?” That actually meant, “Girl, you have no say!”
While I would have actually fought for myself, I finally accepted the much used proverb, something is better than nothing and nodded quietly but with a sad look on my face, I thought if that will make her a little more considerate of my demands. But as always there was no change in expression in her face. Then an idea struck me, Let me go to the market at least, if I throw a tantrum there, and she will have to buy a few more things I needed. Thinking about this with a smile, I was happy to go out with her. As we had walked barely 200 meters from home, I spotted a stranger; his clothes made me feel he was an old beggar. Though he wore neat clothes, they were neither expensive nor new; rather they looked as old as the man himself. From a distance itself, he gave me a smile, and something inside me said he is evil. His uncombed hair, his beard, and his overall appearance made me scared.
I started clinging to my mother and as a rule, she never liked to hold my hand and walk, except when it was crowded. So she asked me to walk properly without clinging to her. As we walked past the stranger, his smile broadened looking at me and I ran to the other side of my mother, who by now guessed that something is wrong with me. She gave me a sharp glance and asked “Is it the stranger?” I just nodded. So without taking a moment, she turned back to face the stranger who was following us by now. She asked in a kind tone, which was always the case other than with me when I wanted to fool her, “Where are you going?” The stranger gave a teethy smile. In his rustic rough voice, he said “To the market.” So mom again asked “You don’t know the way, do you?” Even a broader smile appeared on his face, he said “No ma’am, I don’t know, but your daughter was talking to you about market so I realized you are also going to the market, so I thought I will follow you there.” To this mom gave her friendly smile and told him that he can come with us. There was no point complaining, first I was scared to say anything, second I had no wish be chastised before this stranger, who obviously was looking scary.
As we walked along, this stranger, to whom mom had started to refer as Babaji (usually this word is referred to the spiritual gurus), I was thinking why she is calling him that, because the other Babajis looked much better than him, they had shiny foreheads, clean, new clothes, and spoke with such clarity. As we reached the market, and I thought we will go to the shoe store first, but mom’s plans were pretty clear, she didn’t want to waste time, so she wanted me to go to the novelty store, and pick my flower clip. The stranger also tagged along. As we entered the store, mom told him to go and find what he wanted, the shop owner was also making faces, but as mom showed him the way to go in, he also forced a smile and asked him to pick what he wanted.
Now he looked completely lost, so mom who always liked to keep to her work, went out of her way and assured to help him if he said what he wanted. He said he wanted oil. Mom asked, “hair oil?” He said, “I think so”. But he was definitely doubtful. I was already irritated by mom taking me to the novelty store first, because now I didn’t have a chance to throw any tantrums because, then she would threaten me not to buy the shoes as decided. So we went to the beauty section and asked the sales girl to help him out. He had issues explaining what he wanted because, his speech was deeply accented and he didn’t even know the right words. As mom and the sales girl tried to show him various types of oil, from hair oil to baby oil, but he was not satisfied, then mom asked him to move around the shop and see what he wanted. While she took me to buy my clip.
As I tried to find a clip that would suit my hair as well as match my new dress, the stranger again came to us and this time he looked at me and made a gesture with him hands, and made a noise “sheeezh”. With that I understood, what he wanted, and for the first time since morning, I smiled. I looked at mom and said he wants a perfume. So mom asked the sales girl to show him some perfumes. As she showed him small cute bottle of perfumes and even sprayed a little to let him smell them, his face lighted up. He asked the price and after knowing that almost all of them were pretty expensive, he requested to get him something within his budget.
The sales girl went to find out if there were anything cheaper available in the sale items, they had put out earlier that week. Meanwhile, the stranger started talking to me, he said “I have a daughter like you, little older than you. When I came from the village today to collect my below poverty line pension, she requested me to get her a perfume.” I didn’t know what to answer to him, but just smiled on and also realized why we found him near our house, because the city authorities office was just next block to us. Then he added, “I have five more people who have come for the pensions, we have not got it for 4 months. So this month I got it all together.” Listening to this, mom was surprised and she asked how much you got as pension. He said 500 bucks. Mom was still curious about his wish to buy a perfume with his pensions money while they survive on that. So she asked, “why do you want to buy perfumes?”
He gave his broad and teethy smile again. Then said “My daughter never asks anything, she doesn’t even have good clothes to wear and before she goes to school, she helps me in the farm, so when she goes to school all sweaty, they tell her to sit at the back. So if she has a perfume, she will smell good and then she can sit at the front with the other kids, she is good at studies.” Mom said then “let me buy the perfume for you.” He declined and said “no ma’am, you are very kind but a father has to do a father’s job. It’s my duty to provide for her.”
To this mom didn’t say anything but probably made a decision in her mind. Finally, as we made our purchases and headed for home, mom asked him to come with us. I thought mom will probably give him some food and then send him off. Mom made him sit at the living room, but he insisted on sitting on the porch and mom gave him some snacks and water. As he sat eating, mom took my hand and took me to my room. I was still not sure what she wanted me to do there. She looked into my eyes and said, you have many clothes, “can you take out some that are bigger for you and the ones you can manage without?” I understood what she meant. At other situations, I would have literally made a big mess out of that, but today, something had already touched a nerve somewhere. I took out a few dresses that I barely ever wore as they were pretty bigger for me. Then mom filled a fairly big cartoon with clothes, socks and some of her old shoes. She then placed a few packets of biscuits, few small pieces of cake that she made the day before, and some hair oil, soaps and talcum powder. She made the neat pack and took it out and gave it to the stranger. He was surprised looking at the pack, so mom said, “it’s a gift from my daughter to yours. So please give it to her.” Even though he looked reluctant, he saw that mom was not an easy person to take a no. So he picked the packet and left.
After he left, mom told “not every stranger who wears shabby clothes is bad, learn to see people beyond their clothes and looks. If he could not speak well, because of lack of education, then learn to respect his feelings, beyond words. Don’t think because your parents are able to buy you things, they do not work hard to earn it. Learn to respect money and be thankful for the things you have. Do not make list of things you will not need after a while, make a list of qualities that you need to develop.” I was quite but strangely her words did make sense and I saw a father’s love, and a mother’s way of teaching her daughter how to be a better person.
The same stranger kept coming to our house with fruits, fresh farm products for many years to come later. He became a close family friend, and I became his good friend. It has been almost 24 years, but I still remember this episode that is fresh as yesterday in my memory.
